July 1, 2014 Best two years. . . so far. Well done thou good and faithful servant.

Well this is a strange feeling...

Can you believe that two years has already passed? I cannot. That did not feel like two years. I'm so grateful it was though, because these past two years have been the best two years of my life.

This was a hectic week. We had a meeting every single day as I began to train my replacement to take over the "tech specialist' assignment and other things that I have had to train others on. We had half as much proselyting time as the week before and yet did better. That was a tender mercy.

This past week was my last MLC. 

I'd like to share a scripture that I feel very accurately portrays my personal feelings and the last 2 years of emails home. It's in the Book of Mormon in the book of Alma, chapter 28, verse 8.

"And this is the account of [Elder Johnson] and his brethren, their journeyings in the land of [Arizona], their sufferings in the land, their sorrows, and their afflictions, and their incomprehensible joy, and the reception and safety of the brethren in the land of [Phoenix]. And now may the Lord, the Redeemer of all men, bless their souls forever."

 Missionary work has brought the highest highs and the lowest lows that I have ever experienced in life. It has pushed me every single day. It has been a time of intense spiritual growth. I feel like I have  experienced pure joy on my mission as I have ignored myself and served those around me. That is something I want to do for the rest of my life.

I honestly thought I would die this last week. I had no energy and didn't think I could make it another day. But I felt the sustaining power of prayer and this week I was blessed with more energy than I've felt all transfer.

I was blessed with the ability to go to the Gilbert Temple this past week. Elder Myler and I, along with other missionaries "dying" with us, were able to attend a session with President and Sister Toone. That temple is magnificent. It is breathtaking from outside and out of this world from the inside. 

The chairs are much larger than those in the Mesa temple, and much more comfortable. We had 13 people in the room with us, and 9 missionaries. Seven "dying" missionaries and two visa waiters being sent to Brazil and India. Elder Chandroo, one of Mark's friends, was there. It was fun to catch up.

I will never forget the feelings of walking into the celestial room in that temple. 

I will never forget how I felt when I hugged President and Sister Toone. President Toone held me for a long time in a hug and wept as he whispered, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant. Your offering is accepted by the Lord. You have nothing to regret." I will never forget that. Ever. That was one of the most powerful spiritual confirmations I have experienced. 

There was almost no one inside of it and I walked in and saw Elder Myler looking at the GIANT stain glass window. I walked next to him and we looked at it together, in silence for a few minutes, and he said, "Are you ready?" ... "No. Are you?" ..."No. Lets make these the best last days ever."

They were.

Yesterday I was asked to speak in church. I spoke on experiencing a mighty change of heart. I think it went pretty well. I'm really going to miss Montana del Sur. This ward has changed my life. The people in it are absolutely amazing.

South Phoenix has proven to be a refiners fire for me. I came out on top. I kept the faith. I learned that faith is what you have when you have nothing else. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

I'd like to just take some time to share how I honestly feel. 

I feel like I have fulfilled my calling. I look back over these last two years and I have no regrets. I am completely sure that I was called to Tempe Arizona for a very specific reason. I know the reasons. 

I am not who I was when I left. I hope I don't go back to Paul, because Paul was mediocre. I'm not perfect and far from it, but I am better. I love the gospel; I have a passion for the gospel. I know my Savior. I know that what He did for me was done out of love and out of trust. We are all trusted with the ability to choose the right and we are all trusted with the ability - and responsibility - to repent when we fall short. 

I'm so grateful for the amazing members, missionaries, and investigators that I have been able to meet. They have all influenced my life. The lessons that I have learned as a missionary are lessons that will stick with me forever. 

I'm absolutely terrified for the future. I have a very good grasp on what I want to do and how I'm going to get there, but there are a lot of unknowns between here and there. 

But I feel ready.

I think the Apostle Paul summarized my feelings well in 2 Timothy 4:6-8. He said, 

6For I am now ready to be offered, and the time of my departure is at hand.
7I have fought a good fight , I have finished my course, I have kept the faith:
8Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness , which the Lord, the righteous judge , shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing. 

 Thank you all for your support and prayers. I've felt it. I've felt it in the hardest moments and I've felt it in the best moments. 

I'm excited for the next best two years of my life and I hope that, for the rest of my life, I can confidently say that every two years is better than the two years that preceded it. This mission has prepared me for the rest of my life. I feel ready. I feel excited. 

Excited to see you tomorrow,

Elder Paul Johnson

Arizona Tempe Mission, July 2012 - July 2014

16 June 2014

I've been reminding myself a lot recently that anything worth anything is worth anything. 

I'm so exhausted. Every minute of every day I am so tired. I feel healthy. Two years are catching up to me, I think. Mind over body, mind over body, mind over body...

We had a hard week. Actually, we've had a hard few weeks. We just cannot find solid people. We have done literally everything I have ever done or ever heard of and never done. I even got on my bike and biked around in 105 degrees! I got a flat tire. 

As I have written before, President Toone made a promise at the start of the transfer that every companionship could baptize this transfer. As of last week, every companionship in our zone was on track to do so. Half of them already have, the other half (minus us) had someone on date. 

Every companionship was assigned another companionship to pray for. They pray by name for those they are teaching. This last week we asked the zone to pray for us so that we could find someone. Before my personal study on Thursday, I got down on my knees and begged for someone we could find, teach, and baptize before I go home.

During my personal study I had a strong impression that we should alter our morning plans and spend an hour calling former investigators. We have two phones and thus were both able to call. We set up around five appointments after over fifty calls. 

The first lesson we had set up was with a woman who had only been visited twice,  years ago. We visited her and I was blown away by how powerful a spirit they had in their home. We had a great lesson and as we sat there teaching, I reflected back on the last two years. It has been hard, but it has been amazing. I don't want to be released as a full-time missionary. We taught this family and they all accepted a baptismal invite. We were very excited.

The next day was our monthly ward visitors center trip. We took the daughter-in-law to the visitors center. Her answers were just perfect. When the sisters asked her why she came she said, "I see so much happiness here. I want it." She loved the Joseph Smith movie. Afterwards she said, "That book...where can I get it? I love reading and I want to read it." Afterwards in another display she said, "This is what I want."

She accepted a baptismal date for June 28th. That's a mighty fine birthday present. 

On the drive home we sat in the back seat, ecstatic, as our investigator talked and became friends with the member. Remember, we taught the daughter-in-law at the older woman's home the day before.

The member asked where she could drop her off and the daughter-in-law replied, "_____." 

She doesn't live in our area.

No.

No...

That was a hard moment. We had to refer her over to the sisters in a different ward.

That was a very hard moment.

Yes, she is still going to get baptized and that is wonderful. It's hard to put into words why it is so sad to lose someone to a different area. There are no words.

That was a hard night. I felt tried to my last straw. I felt ready to give up. I felt like the Lord was trying to break me. And I almost let him.

I opened my scriptures and stumbled upon something that changed my perspective. 

 15 And if it so be that you should labor all your days in crying repentance unto this people, and bring, save it be one soul unto me, how great shall be your joy with him in the kingdom of my Father!
 16 And now, if your joy will be great with one soul that you have brought unto me into the kingdom of my Father, how great will be your joy if you should bring many souls unto me!
When people try to tell me that God doesn't answer our prayers, I immediately think to the many many many times He has answered me. 

That scripture taught me that although we have not baptized in some months, I can find joy in my efforts. We're doing absolutely everything we can. Isn't that enough? We've frequently discussed what else we could do and we do it. 

Nothing worthwhile is easy.

Last night was the last Mission President's Devotional of my mission. Elder Myler and Oscarson drove up from Yuma to perform a musical number. They go home with me. Elder Sylvester and I translated. It was another unique experience of being lifted above our ability. It was smooth and felt natural. 

That was the last time I'll see many of the missionaries here. We only had five minutes after it ended to say goodbye since we had another meeting with missionaries right afterwards but it was a sad moment. I was happy to see a family I had baptized in Mesa there.

Exciting news! The church has released an electronic progress report that is accessed through lds.org! Gone are the days of spending time writing a paper progress report for the ward council! Stake and ward leaders can access an auto-generated progress report at any time from any device! 

President Toone got a cool new Tahoe. It's the only car he fits in. The Traverse he had was way too small for him. I offered to give him our Corolla for it but he sad no.

On the 27th of June we will be going to the Gilbert temple for one last temple session with all the missionaries that go home with me! There are six of us. President and Sister Toone will go as well. Can't wait.

I'm honestly toying with the idea of being a car salesman. 

A miracle we saw last week was that every single less active that we visited and invited came to church! One family works all night on Saturdays and used that as their excuse. We were bold with the parents and they came on Sunday with a big smile on their face! 

We were also surprised by a family of former investigators that showed up to church! There is still hope for a baptism before I finish my mission! 

If I've learned anything on my mission it is that happiness and optimism are choices we make. In the midst of a trial we decide whether to overcome it with a smile on our face or a frown. We control what happens most of the time, so why don't we? Why don't we take our happiness into our own hands more often?

Love you all!
EJ