5 November 2012

Dear Family and Friends,

Election day is tomorrow! 30% of Yuma missionaries voted. Tisk tisk. This big hurricane sounds like it could turn the election...

This letter is a tad late today since we have been lizard hunting all morning. We have a ward member who is a biologist and does a lot of research for some of the universities and so she took us out to the border to find stuff. She had these long poles that had a little noose on the end that you stick around the lizard's neck. Unfortunately, we didn't catch any since they're all hibernating. Psh. But we did see a fox and a jackrabbit and a real live Mexican bird! It flew across the border like it was a joke. Guess that wall needs to get a little taller. It was a good time and we walked about 2 miles into literally nothing. I now know what it's like for Mexicans to run across the border. We found cell phones, backpacks, water bottles. Basically everything BUT lizards and snakes. I almost expected to find a body.

This was a pretty awesome week. We had a baptism into the Spanish branch on Saturday morning and later that same day we baptized another one of our investigators into the Yuma Valley English speaking ward. Next Saturday we're going to get a baptism for our young single adults branch. That's 3 baptisms in 7 days and into every one of our units! We've worked for those. I'll see what I can write about each of their stories.

Ok, so our first baptism on Saturday was for someone we found on our fifth day out. We were still going around trying to figure the area out since we got white washed into Yuma. We prayed before we left the apartment that day and told God that we would talk to anyone he put into our path. Well, we were driving to meet one of the investigators the previous Elders had and when we got there, no one answered. We decided that we would walk past the car by one block. At the corner, we ran into a man and his family. We told him who we were and what we did and he invited us to walk with him to his house. They had been swimming in the awful dirty canal. Anyway, we're walking over to his house and he is talking about how none of his friends talk about God, he doesn't understand why people look at the cross so much, and he didn't understand why some people worshiped Mary. We were just walking and thinking, "yesssssss." Well, we sit down and teach him and things go well. We go by about three to five times a week depending on his schedule and get to the point where we have taught him almost everything. He accepted it all without question and we put him on date for the 13th of October. One night we went by to go see how he was doing. It was an unplanned visit. Walking up to his house we saw him and his friends sitting in front of his house smoking and drinking. When he saw us, he freaked out, threw the joint on the ground and came over to us very embarrassed. We talked a bit and ended up pushing his baptismal date back. The next Sunday he was at Church and LOVED it. Can't even emphasize it enough. We had to leave a little early and he waved us away without even looking up. Well, fast forward 3 weeks and there we were standing outside the baptismal font. He managed to get his family there (they never listened to us) and they got there at 10:45 for the scheduled baptism at 11. Whew, first hurdle passed, he made it. 10:55 came around and no one was there. At 11:00 the pianist showed up as well as the branch president. We were getting worried that no one would show up. One of the things he loved most about church was how everyone came and talked to him and how happy everyone was. Well now his support group wasn't even at the baptism. We decided to wait a couple more minutes out of faith. Man, I thought Mormon standard time was bad, Mexican standard time blows it away. At 10:15 about 25 people showed up but the person who was supposed to be conducting the program wasn't there. We went on without him. Fast forward to the time of the baptism. He asked me to baptize him and he and I walked back around to the baptismal font. What we saw was terrible. All but 1.5 feet of water had leaked out through the drain. Bah! Well, we walked down into the water and I gave the prayer but his legs were sticking out of the water when he was laid down flat so I did it again. This time I had to push his whole body under the water. His back was on the floor of the font. But it worked! During the time that we changed, I had Elder Sawyer do what we do back home - that is, pass around note cards to write your testimony on while someone plays prelude music. The Yuma stake had never done it before and loved it. The baptism was a success and he was confirmed in church the next day by Elder Sawyer. People there said it was the most amazing baptism they'd ever been to. We had a really bold lesson with him that I think saved his baptism.

The other baptism was equally amazing. This one was for the Yuma Valley ward. We found ____ at Church on our third Sunday. She had friends who were members who decided to take her to church on a whim and introduced her to use that day. She had been through a lot. We taught her twice a week for 1.5 months and helped her overcome an addiction to cigarettes. It was a humbling experience to be involved in it with her. The mission uses a program to help smokers quit that involves drinking unsweetened grapefruit juice after every meal because it puts a foreign taste in your mouth or something. Well, we invited a recent convert to our lessons with her and her two member friends and we all said we would drink grapefruit juice after every meal with her (but in different places, obviously.) We worked and worked and worked and sent her encouraging messages everyday until she could say she had quit. The baptism was performed by the husband of the woman who invited her to church. It was an amazing baptism and there were some incredible brownies to be eaten afterwards.

A good week indeed.

We stopped by the Young Single Adults (YSA) FHE activity last Monday with our YSA investigator. They played murder in the dark and did some activity where they put jellybeans in a plate and covered them up with whipped cream and you had to fish the jellybeans out with only your face. Everyone insisted that Elder Sawyer and I go first so, for member trust, we did. I won but ruined one of my $1.99 ties that I got recently. But that doesn't matter since I won. The person in charge felt bad so she bought me two ties and owes me an additional $6, all her idea. I'm not complaining. It was actually pretty degrading afterwards haha. They were all taking pictures of us with whipped cream all over our faces kneeling on the ground haha.

We did the New Testament read-a-thon this week. From 8am to 5pm we read at the chapel. All the missionaries were out of money for October. We told one of the Sisters in the Yuma Valley Ward (the same one who referred the baptism in the same ward) and she said she'd take care of food. She got on Facebook that night and put it as her status. She said 19 women commented all volunteering to take food. There was a lot of food during the read-a-thon... It was awesome to see their willingness to help us out in a time of need.

One of the things that stuck out to me during the read-a-thon was a new definition of faith for me. I read Matthew-halfway through Luke and had a cool insight. I think faith is more than just something that is hoped for and not seen. I think faith is also every Christlike attribute: patience, love, diligence, humility...the list goes on. With those attributes, our faith grows because we put others before ourselves. I could write more on it but for time purposes I'll leave it there. There is a part in Mark where it talks about Jesus "marveling at the faith" of someone. I want Christ to marvel at my faith.

This year the Yuma Stake is broadcasting stake conference. The stake is basically 2 hours across and people aren't going to drive that far. Never heard of somewhere doing that before!

The Yuma Zone is talentless. No one plays piano or can really sing. Don't stop playing piano if you're learning! In the Spanish branch there are two people who know how to play piano who taught themselves in the last year since no one else can play. We have to borrow people from other wards to play piano at our baptisms.

I've heard about a franken-storm hitting the east coast? Details?

Do Stake Presidents have keys?

Dad, what was your baby blessing pet peeve?

Can someone confirm all this I hear about  tanic acid turning stomachs into acid? I'm pretty sure every missionary uses it and I'm not sure I believe it.

How far do ants walk in a lifetime?

Thanks Ian, Susie, Annie, Doug, Mom, Eric, and Will for writing this week. I'm not going to be able to write much since I'm all out of stamps and buying new ones means foregoing lunch but I'll see what I can do! Due to time constraints today, I'll probably not get back to most of you this week. Lo siento [I'm sorry]. But thank you all so much for writing! I really appreciate it and love you all

Con amor,

Arizona has the best sunsets!

That's a wild tarantula.

Welcome to the desert.

Probably my manliest pose ever.

Elder Boyd in that picture is licking the skull of a lizard that was eaten by a bird that impales their prey on sticks and then eats them. He got $6 out of it.

Elder Johnson

29 October 2012

Dear Family and Friends,

 

Firstly, Happy Birthday Eric! What did you get me?

 

So this week was Habanero week. I don't know if Mom put up that letter I sent home explaining it in ridiculous wording haha. If not, here's an account:

 

Last Monday we finally got around to eating habernos. The Elders out in Foothills came down and picked up 6 habaneros for 40 cents total. We met at the stake center. I was pretty confident walking into it. Elder Lanier decided to show me a video of him eating one which I regretted seeing. Everyone was procrastinating eating it so we played basketball for 30 minutes until someone said we should just get it over with. We all ate the entire habanero at the same time. The video I have is pretty amusing. No one reacted for the first 30 or so seconds because the pain didn't set in for a bit. And then it hit everyone at once. I don't think my eyes have ever watered as bad as they were. Waterfalls don't even compare to the amount of tears that were falling in that gym. We chugged some chocolate milk out of a yoohoo can. Elder Lanier and I took turns chugging it but since we only brought one can and it was quickly gone. We ran out to the water fountain and found that only one of the two worked on that side so we took turns there too. All 3 working water fountains in the building were in use. After about 5 minutes Elder Lanier called himself good and went back. I kept chugging. My throat started to close off and it was quite a bit harder to breathe. Every time I inhaled it felt like it was fueling the fire burning in my throat so I tried not to breathe much. My ears started to burn a bit but were never too bad so I did the only thing I could do and kept chugging. My eyes continued to water. I walked back into the gym thinking all was well and I heard someone ask me if I was high. My eyes were pretty bloodshot. You'd think that after 10 minutes it wouldn't hurt so bad.

 

Nope.

 

I ran off the the bathroom feeling pretty sick and started to throw up. Let me tell you, the seeds going down were bad but coming back up was just terrible. My nose was pretty runny so I decided to blow it. Bad. Idea. My nose has never burned but it was an inferno that afternoon.

 

Anyway, dwelling on that experience isn't helping. I'll leave it there. Rest assured, I'll never take another habanero again. I won't feel bad saying no to Mexicans offering me hot food either. When we tell them we ate habaneros they always laugh at us and call us silly. One told us about her niece eating one and having to go to the hospital because it gave her blisters all over her mouth and throat.

 

I would not recommend a habanero. I would send the video home but the file is too big.

 

Went on an exchange with Elder Lanier this week. He is a missionary called Spanish speaking but is in the English only area of Foothills. It's driving him crazy. He came down to Yuma and was in heaven since everyone is Mexican. We went and knocked some doors and met the laziest dog I've ever seen. It was a massive bulldog that couldn't even walk. It tried to push the screen door open so it could eat us but we just held the door closed. It probably couldn't have run either. That same afternoon we went and found a Jehovah's Witness and talked to him. He had just gotten out of jail and was going on about how bad his life was. We spoke about how it could be better. He said he wanted it to improve while sipping his 40 of beer. Elder Lanier told him that there was no better time to start than the present, got the guy to give him the beer, and poured it out all over the ground. It was a pretty bold moment and we're hoping for the best for the guy. Unfortunately he is in the area of the other missionaries so he's there work. 

 

That day was also the first day Elder Lanier has driven in weeks. I'm not allowed to drive yet ...driving me crazy, no pun intended. Anyway, he was really distracted and ran a couple stop signs and was on edge for the rest of the night. It was hilarious to see him sitting on the edge of a seat driving like a blind person. He struggled for a while to figure out how to turn the lights on and since we were driving in the 'counties' (dirt road areas) the lights were a little important.

 

We implemented a new means of finding investigators this week by delivering baptismal invitations for one of the 8 year old boys getting baptized. We asked him and his parents to make invitations to their non-member friends and if we could deliver them. We went around inviting said people to the baptism and said that the ____ family had asked us to share with them why Ben is getting baptized. Most people said no but we got in with one family who we're pretty sure will be baptized soon. Really good people.

 

We were on slate to get a baptism this past week. Everything was going well and the programs were made. Fast forward to the day of. His wife starts yelling at him five hours before the baptism and tells him that if he gets baptized then she will divorce him. This is the investigator who has read the entire Book of Mormon in 3 weeks. He loves church and loves the gospel. The baptism fell through and now we can't go by as often. Hopefully things turn around. Keep him in your prayers, we don't know how to approach his wife.

 

So every month we get 1,100 miles to drive in the swagger-wagon since our area is rather large. Since there are 5 weeks in October we are basically out. We can average 11 miles for the next 3 days and we have two lessons on two different days this week that are 30 miles away. This will be a fun one! We're also out of money for this month since there are 5 weeks. This will be a faith week. I have 1 cup of cereal left, 1/4 a gallon, a box of mac n cheese, and a box of spaghetti for 7 days.

 

The Yuma Valley Ward, formerly the 9th ward, threw their Halloween party this week. We went expecting it to be pretty small but when we were 2 blocks away we could hear music playing. They were using their entire parking lot (pretty big...) as grounds to basically have a mini carnival. There was a dunk tank that the Bishops would go into (good idea...), some basketball hoops, and some other activities as well as lots of food and lots more desserts. It was a lot of fun and the weather was perfectly permitting.

 

Speaking of halloween, our mission president has asked us all to stay indoors all day. We can leave once and that is to drive to the church at 8am and read the New Testament with the zone (10 missionaries) until 4pm. After 4pm, we drive home and stay in our apartments. I'm going to sleep all afternoon and write letters if I get any by the 31st. President Howes has OK'd both of those things. Elder Sawyer and I were going to go dressed up as Joseph (and the coat of many colors) and Potipher's wife. It would have been golden. The Assistants to the President asked everyone to go in suits that day. And we're out of money. Lame. Just imagine it though.

 

So I've had a dream before where people were talking to me in Spanish but this dream I had this week was the first time I've spoken in Spanish in my dream. And the worst part was that I couldn't understand anything that I said. That's a pretty lame feeling haha. Elder Sawyer said I was sleep talking in Spanish too.

 

We had a super bold lesson with 'Carlos' this week. We walked up on him drinking and smoking last week with his friends so he fell off his baptismal date. We went and sat down with him for an hour and just laid it out how it was. I was pretty surprised at what I was saying since they were things I would never imagine saying. I guess that scripture is right that what to say will be put in your mouth in the moment. We left and he was re-energized to stay away from those things. He is on date for this weekend. As is 'Jackie'! We're looking at two baptisms this week. Hopefully both can avoid alcohol and smoking.

 

I've seen weird things over the air in Yuma this week. They look like super high balloons: bright silver, circular, and small. But the weird thing is that they disapear after a few seconds. Just gone. ALIENS. Kidding about aliens, but it's weird none-the-less.

 

What is the Church's stance on medicinal marijuana?

 

One  of our dinner appointments cancelled this week. Our ward mission leaders wife brought over a little bit of heaven. Rotisserie chicken! That was the day we biked 20 miles and we scarfed that food like there was no tomorrow. I expected to have more spaghetti and more rotis chicken. Woe is me.

 

It's so great to hear of all these new people going on missions! As we say in spanglish, B N H O! (bien hecho/good work). I would venture far enough to say that I am fluido en spanglish now.

 

 We named our bikes this week. Swagcycle was fitting for mine.

 

I almost died this week. Well, other than the habanero, I had a near death experience. Elder Sawyer and I were biking home at 8:50pm and I was on the curb of the road and he was on the sidewalk.  I could not have been further over. A silver malibu crested over the hill about 200 feet from us and started drifting towards me. Kept coming, coming, and coming. It was going about 30 mph and we were going 15 mph forward. I started to get a little nervous so went far enough over that my wheel was scratching against the sidewalk. He kept coming. 15 feet away I started to get really nervous and half dismounted my bike ready to jump but he kept coming. It wasn't until 8 inches away that he swerved away from me. I saw my entire life flash before my eyes right then. I'm not ready to go yet. I'm going to appreciate life a lot more now. The guy was really drunk since he had just watched a big baseball game and was 'celebrating' by driving drunk. But all is well so that's all that matters! 

 

It got 'down to 70' this week. It was funny to see all the Mexicans in the Spanish branch (now named Rio Colorado) in coats. Good times. I'm pretty excited for this new weather gig.

 

At church yesterday we heard a pretty good story about one of the guys growing up and working. His Dad was making him do a ton of manual labor and the kid yelled at his dad, "Well it's not exactly easy!" And the father replied, "I know, that's why I asked you to do it." He said it pierced him to the core and related it to the trials we face on Earth and how we can overcome anything.

 

I heard this week that a lot of missions are saying no more knocking doors? Apparently no more in Mexico and Hawaii?

 

When fasting, missionaries in AZ are encouraged to still drink since we're out in the dry heat.

 

HOCKEY! One of the YSA members gave us 6 hockey sticks to use and today for P-day we are playing floor hockey at the stake center. Sawyer and I have been shooting a tennis ball in our apt for the last 2 days in anticipation. I miss hockey. And ice. I did have a dream last night that my ____[?] iced over. That was a weird one.

 

I made a sad realization this week. Elder Sawyer and I have killed more cats in Yuma than we have baptized. He hit a kitten in the swaggerwagon a couple weeks ago. We haven't had a baptism yet.

 

To explain those two pictures, the ballot one was funny because that guy changed his name to Pro-Life. I laughed. And the gun one was in a ghetto apt complex.

 

Thank you Doug, Natalia, Eric, Will, Mom, Grandma and Grandpa J for the letters this week! Hopefully I'll have time to write everyone back this week. You're all a priority though!

 

Love you all,

Elder Johnson

24 September 2012

Dear everyone,

I usually send the email on Mondays around 10:45-11 am. Look for them then, mom.

Mom, the ties that you ordered at the MTC are here haha. They're definitely unique ties. I don't think anyone will forget them haha. Thank you for sending them. Speaking of ties, do you think you could send me a knot cheat sheet? The one I've tied forever gets loose throughout the day, kind of a hassle. 
I don't know if I mentioned this last week but I figured out that Elder Sawyer dated and is writing one of my Political Science TAs. I saw a letter on his desk from her and asked if it was the same person who TA'd for comparative politics. Small world, eh?
  
This was definitely a crazy week. Last Tuesday we had interviews with President Howes. He drove 4 hours from Tempe to Yuma and spent 2 days here doing trainings, interviews, and whoknowswhatelse. In the days preceding his arrival, the zone leaders started pushing our zone of 5 companionships to pick up the baptisms. In September, to date today, we've had 3. It looks like we'll get 8 this weekend, none for Elder Sawyer and I. When we started talking about them coming to church (have to come at least twice), President Howes gave them permission to baptize them and confirm them "fontside" on their second Sunday. If that dosen't make sense, I'll try to clarify: attend 1 week, attend 2 week, baptize that day, confirm that day. I already felt weird about doing it after 2 weeks and not 3 but the idea of baptizing on that second Sunday made me really uncomfortable. I brought up my point during district meeting with the missionaries the day before interviews. During interviews I brought it up too. What was supposed to be a 30 min. interview turned into a 1.5 hour one haha. I told the President I didn't know how to voice my concerns to him, he said just be bold. I did. He wasn't too happy. I said I'd rather baptize for retention and get 3 total in one month and that it felt like we were just pushing for a month's goal. I then said if I baptize 2 people durning my entire mission and both stay active, I'll be more happy then if I baptize 3 and 2 stay active. He wasn't too happy about that either. So we'll see how that progresses. Elder Sawyer and I put a goal for 3 baptisms this month. He asked me why we didn't achieve it. I said, 'sometimes, setting high helps you work harder. You may not hit the goal but you will have worked harder than you did otherwise.' What's that saying, aim for the moon, that way when you miss, you still hit the stars? or something. He said we should have gotten 3 baptisms this month anyway. Yeah, we'll see what happens with that. I'm all for baptisms but not rushing people through.

 
On a different note, the new Scion FRS is a sweet car. Pretty athletic looking car.
 
While we were teaching one of our investigators about the plan of salvation - using Spencer's drawing might I add - they asked lots of questions about the veil [between our pre-earth life and mortality on earth]. While thinking, this thought popped into my head, "We have to forget so we can learn to remember." Pretty cool idea, I thought. It's all about practicing that faith and having that hope that there is something else. If you have that, you'll come to know that there is something else.
  
We had a really good experience this week with one of our investigators. I'l preface it with what brought it about. During personal study that morning, I was reading in Revelation. I was falling asleep and what better to keep you awake than ~12 chapters of pure confusion. For some reason I felt like I should read Joseph Smith History. I've never read it before. I was reading in verses 1-20. Verses 11-13 and 15-18 stuck out to me for a reason I did not yet know. I marked them, wrote a little note, then closed my book and read something else. I told Elder Sawyer that morning that I felt we should share those scriptuers with our investigator. (I'm not supposed to name the investigators...) Fast forward to the lesson. That day, we were planning to teach her about the Plan of Salvation and those JSH (Joseph Smith History) scriptures did not relate at all. I still felt I should share them. I paused our lesson in the middle and read those scriptures written above. As I was about to start reading the fisrt vision part, there were very loud knocks on the door. You hear about how crazy things happen before the first vision is recounted. I've heard of houses burning down, power going out, people coming over etc. Anyway, her friend had come over and wanted to do something but we eventually got things settled again. I started over. When I finished reading said verses, I looked up and she, in tears, said, "funny that you say that." We asked why and she said it was too personal. Elder Sawyer then said that I had told him that morning that we should read it to her even though it was unrelated to the lesson. She broke down for a few minutes. I was awestruck. The house was silent for a few minutes. We found out yesterday why it was "funny that we say that" but that probably isn't appropriate to share. Regardless, it was an amazing experience about how prayers can be answered through other people and how revelation works. I'm still in awe over it. 
 
We biked about 35 miles this week. We're sitting at just over 50 total miles. We are averaging 10mph each day which isn't bad considering the heat. When we're pulling into our apts at 9pm, the stores that have thermometers outside say it's just under 100. Joy.
 
Roland, did you know Samurai Gonez? He served in McAllen, TX and is from Yuma. We saw his name on the stake center mission board. Just curious.
 
I learned this week that 75% of Yuma speaks spanish. Yuma also apparently produces 80% of the US' lettuce in the winter time. I keep hearing that the winter is to die for. Time will tell.
 
As we were going around talking to people this week, we biked to a house and started talking to the father on the "stoop." The kids ran up to us and said, "Please don't arrest papa!" Totally sketchy. Lots of people run when they see us because they think we're border patrol or police. I'm sayin we should proselyte in street clothes! We had a running across with the Border Patrol (BP) two nights ago. BP was in an alley talking to a guy and we, out of curiosity, biked past them. The BP officers looked at us and said we shouldn't be in that neighborhood. Nothing too serious, I know, but still good times. Those guys are intense when they're on duty.
 Keep hearing about "your candidate Romney." Yup.
 
My first night in the field we were eating at a members house and somehow the rapper Drake came up. I said, "El es mi hombre!" Everyone looked at me for a second and then just laughed. Apparently that has some gay connotations. But they didn't tell me that until after I had also said, "Jesus es mi hombre!"
 
We went on exchanges this week. I went up with Elder Berriman, ZL1, in the foothills. He's english and the whole area is english. It was nice speaking a language I have more of a grip on. But white people are crazy! One woman swerved her car towards us when she saw us then drove away laughing, lots of yelling etc. Fun times for sure! Latinos are way nicer. At least they listen. When we got there to the trailer that the Elders there live in, Berriman realized he had lost the meal calendar so he called a recent covnert and asked if she could give us dinner. We had cheese/lettuce/mustard/onion/tomato/ham sandwiches. At 5:57 we got a phone call from an angry woman saying, "So Elders, still planning on coming over tonight?" Woops. We sprinted over there. She wasn't very happy, especially since she had her nonmember friends for dinner over that night. Bad first impression. We sat down and ate some stuff, I still don't know what and probably better that way, and talked for a bit. They were crazy. Told stories of calling the cops and having her daughter arrested, dragging her daughter out of the mall literally by her hair, etc. She said that someone better call CPS if she ever catches her daughter with a loaded gun/alcohol again. Interesting dinner.
 
We biked through a meth neighborhood the other day. Smelled just like it! We went up to talk to two people (it was 8pm, no streetlights) and they jumped so high. Once they realized we weren't the powleez they laughed and talked for a bit. They were pretty out of it. I'll give them the benefit of the doubt and say they were...tired...
 
It's always interesting when we see 2+ big SUVs and 2+ cop cars pull out of different streets, all with sirens on, and chase down a single street. One can only imagine what's going on. That happened last night in our apt complex, too! But not SUVs, just fire trucks, ambulence, and the fuzz. We biked up because we thought our home could be on fire but luckily it was one just past us. Luckily for us, that is. And it wasn't even a fire. They ran in with a stretcher but came out with no one. Guess they lived. 
 
I was reading through my MTC journal entries the other day and came upon this gem. "Today started as a normal day. Actually, it ended as one too." 
 
When urging people in the ward/branch to register to vote yesterday at Church (the LDS church is nonpartisan but encourages all to register to vote and vote before general elections. Doesn't endorse a candidate) the guy said, "make sure you THINK about everything you say. That said, is it True, is it Helpful, is it Inspiring, is it Necessarry, is it Kind? Word! More people need to do that. I'm talking to you, drunk man on the corner yelling things about this election!
 
I discovered the Bible Dictionary this week. What a treasure trove! That should be one of the years of seminary alone! It's like a mini Wikipedia! 
 
Eric and Will might appreciate this one: there are hundreds of lizards that live around our appartments. Apparently they're easy to catch w/ a noose thing. What would you do if I sent you a letter with a lizard in it? Haha
 
It's almost snowbird season! Lots of old people move down here during the winter because he's "heavenly" here. There are a couple branchs they make of 600+ people just of snowbirds. They're called that since they leave the snow and "migrate" to Yuma. It's also almost planting season. That means everyone who sits at home watching TV, literally, all day are going to be working 14+ hour days. Guess it'll be harder to find those latinos who already go to bed at 8pm. You'd like that, mom. They're out of work for 4 months of the year then work all day er'eday for 8 or so. There are also a lot of date farms.
 
Yesterday I spilled lemonade all over my dinner plate. That was awkward. 
 
I heard this week that the Pope, when called, is baptized for [by---thus begins Paul's spanglish!] immersion. Can anyone confirm?
 
Hot week this week. We biked a couple days here and there for half days at a time. One day was 120.6 F. I spilled some water on the ground on accident but ~10 seconds when I looked down it was gone. 
 
Speaking of evaporation, I heard a good talk from Holland at the MTC that I just remembered. He was talking about how at 211 F, water doesn't boil, no steam is produced. Without that last one degree, nothing will change. Such is us. If we don't put in that little bit extra of effort, nothing will change. But when we do, we get results. 
 
And on the other extreme, why does water get less dense when it freezes?
 
Thank you Tori, Doug, Dad, Eric x2, Will, Aunt Andra, Grandpa J, and Mom for the letters! They keep me going! It's always exciting to open that mailbox and come out with paper gold. I hope I have time to write everyone back today. I'lll make it happen.
 
Love you all so much, take care,
Elder Johnson

10 September 2012

Dear Family and Friends,

I caught the 3:10 to Yuma!more on that in a bit, though.

Two things: I don't speak Spanish and it is really hot.

My Address:
Elder Paul Johnson
1600 W 12th Street
#3422
Yuma, AZ 85365

What a crazy few days it has been! Left the MTC at 5am, plane left at 8, and landed at 10. On the plane, I fell asleep for the first ~20 or so minutes then woke up to find Elder Jacobsen talking to the guy next to him. I was in the aisle. The guy, named Mark, was a grad student at ASU studying communications. I butted into the conversation and we had a great discussion about communication, our plans for the future, and what missions are. It was a very relaxed conversation and flowed well.

Once we landed, we were quickly scurried up by the mission presidents, assistants, and his wife. We all somehow squished into two MAVs (Mormon Assault Vehicles - long vans) and went on our way towards the mission home. Luckily, it was only a 20 minute drive. Once there, we unpacked some things and threw it into a room in the Church. We had a short brunch where we got to meet people and talked for a bit. They split us up into two groups: one that went and OYM'd (Open Your Mouth, contacting random people on the street) and one that was interviewed and did a short orientation. We were in that second group. Interviews were nice and short. After that, Elder Myler and I were dropped in a random trailer park and told to go pass out some copies of the Book of Mormon and talk to people -- in Spanish. We were still companions because we had not received our companions for the field yet. We walked around and talked to some people. Our first contact...words cannot describe how bad it was. We walked up to a woman cutting Cactus for dinner and tried to talk. Words didn't really come out. She just sat there laughing. It was way too awkward. We opened to a scripture, gave her the book, and just left. After that, they slowly got better.

The rest of the day were meetings with the staff and whatnot. We had dinner at a members house, taco salad, and then we dispersed to spend the night with a member. We all stayed in the Tempe area. The one who Elders Jacobsen, Myler, and I stayed at were awesome and very welcoming. We talked a bit and then fell asleep at 8. It had been a long day. Since they did not tell us where we were going or who our new companions were, we were all dying that night. The next day was the day!

We woke up at 5:45 to get ready and then left to the church to have the transfer meeting at 7:15. Once there, we talked a bit with the misison president and his wife about things I can't remember but were doubtlessly important. You could sense the excitement in the room. They moved us into the chapel after 2 hours of meetings to meet our trainers and learn where we were going. When we walked in, all the trainers (companions that help introduce new missionaries to the area) were sitting on the far left side of the room. We were told to sit on the far right. One by one, President Howes, the mission president, read off a name of the trainer, a name of the trainee (us), and the area they would be serving. Lets see if I can remember: Elder Jacobsen is in Skyline, Elder Myler is in Chandler, and... I can't remember where the Hermanas are. Woops. They read everyone's name off and eventually I was sitting by myself on the right. They had saved me for last. I was dying, but, naturally kept a cool face, yo. I heard my name, my trainers name (Elder Sawyer, 16 months in, form Meridian, ID), and then Yuma! I had been saying that if there was one place I wanted to serve, it was in Yuma. Yuma is the border zone. Then they said we were whitewashing into Yuma.

Whitewashing means that they take both the missionaries who were there out and put two new ones in. They do it to put a breath of fresh air into the area if it is struggling a bit. Whitewashing and training means that both he and I have no idea what we are doing here haha. The first couple days we spent ~6 hours planning and looking through the Area Books. It was hard. Furthermore, when we walked into our apartment, it was a mess. They had had a "party" the night before. Lots of things were on the ground, there were burnt papers (?!), and more. Mom, if you thought MY room was bad... We spent 3 hours a couple days ago cleaning out one room and found 3 garbage bags full worth of trash. We have a lot to do today. There are also cockroaches and bed bugs have come back. I haven't seen any bed bugs yet...Mmhmmmmm

Our apartment is nice, size wise. We have a sweet view (I forgot my camera in our room...I'll have pictures next week..) of a trailer park and then the desert right after it followed by some grande mountains. Ooh, and a small canal/stream/river!

Yuma is hot. Hot. Hot. If you leave a water bottle on the ground it melts. If you leave a CD case on the dashboard, it melts. It is dry, too. Luckily, we've had two days of showers and awesomeeeeeeee thunder storms. Thunder that shakes houses, lightning that is everywhere. Anyway, they give missionaries a car down here (we drive a swagger wagon. Dodge van, can't remember name) a car and give 1000 miles a week. We bike once a week (picked up bike, by the way. thanks!). They say being sent to Yuma is like banishment. We don't get to go to a temple even though we're close to San Diego, we don't get Dear Elders often, we don't get to go to mission meetings, it's really really really hot. It doesn't really feel like the US here. Lots and lots of trailer parks and Mexicans. The city isn't tall and the landscape is quite literally a desert. There are stray dogs, chickens and roosters running around the streets. The poverty is unbelievable yet the people are so welcoming. More on that in a bit... Just real quick, Yuma is large geographically but few people. There are only 4 companionships here, one of which are the Zone Leaders (ZLs).

I made it through the entire MTC without ironing once. On our first day, I started ironing but Elder Sawyer told me that there's a dryer on our balcony. Never ironing my shirt again!

I've joked about how it rains when I leave or go places. It rained for 3 days before we left the MTC, it rained when I got here! Move over Schumacher,there's a new rain master in town. [Schumacher is an F-1 car racer who must have the rain follow him too.]

Food. We eat at a members home 6 nights a week. We've had Pizza, Beans, Shrimp/Cervichi and ALMOST Menudo. I think I'm going to die in Yuma. I eat it but every time it almost comes up. Of everything we've eaten, I'd say Pizza is the best but I wouldn't go out of my way to eat it still. Cervichi is the devil. Bane of my existence. It's like shrimp and..other stuff, I don't even know what. We ate at this one members' house. It was a trailer without a table and a tiny couch and two chairs. The Sisters in the area eat with us so we stuffed in. There was room for the two sisters and Elder Sawyer and me sitting near each other, no more. She fed us cold Cervichi. I ate about half and while the host stepped out to grab something, Elder Sawyer, like a boss, switched plates with me. He ended up eating mine, a Sisters, and his own. Como un jefe [like the boss]. Did I mention it was cold? Straight out of the fridge. They didn't have power in their trailer. Their willingness to help out was humbling though. Menudo is what I'm most scared to eat. It is the stomach lining of cow in a soup.

But first, let me explain the last two days. We have given five blessings in 1.5 days. For some reason everyone has been asking recently. Two have been in English, three in Spanish. Elder Sawyer takes those ones. They take a lot of time out of our day since three were at the Hospital (2 year old girl had top lip bitten off by Dog, needs surgery, older less active woman asked, and  third was a woman who wanted one also) Let me preface the story with this: I've been praying a lot for my taste buds to just die for 2 years. On the way out to our dinner apt I was saying a prayer in my heart that the food would be spaghetti or something. As we are driving out, a huge storm comes in. We're talking 40+ mph winds, rain, LOTS of lightning, and sand! (There are lots of dust storms here, like hundreds of feet tall walls of dust coming at you. Waiting to get a picture of one...). Anyway, we're driving there and then we see power go out everywhere. Since the desert is flat, you can see everything. We pull up to the house and they said since the power went out, they couldn't cook the Menudo and instead had to order Pizza. I've never been so happy to eat Pizza in my life. Little blessings like that keep you going. I doubt that will work for two years, but we'll see. I think between my prayers and the willingness to give so many blessings, we got a little one in return.

While we were in the hospital, a nurse asked us to go visit a woman who just got transferred in. As we were walking in, a Border Patrol dude/agent/guy stopped us and said, "Who are you and what are you doing with my convict?" He was pretty intense about it. we told him our business and he let us go. Inside we learned (Or Elder Sawyer did. Remember, I can't speak Spanish) that she had been in a group coming across the border illegally and the coyote left her behind in the desert to die. US Border Patrol found her and saved her. I can't imagine knowing that I am about to die and being alone in 110 degree weather. It's kind of crazy how close we are to all the action. Unfortunately we're not ON the border (That's the San Luis district, we're in Yuma, ~15 miles north) but we see everyone coming through the Yuma hospital.

We cover three wards for our mission area. An English, a Spanish Branch, and a Young Singles Adult. Not sure why that last one since they usually send ZLs  [Zone Leaders] there but we have it. The English branch is pretty large, the YSA [Young Single Adults] has about 25 and the Spanish branch has about 40. It seems dead. I leaned over to Sawyer and mentioned that and he said, "We're here to save it."

In the 6 days we've been here, we've taught 3 lessons, 2 of which were yesterday. Everyone listens but no one follows up. Must be a cultural thing. Most people are really nice.

But some aren't. We were walking around this one trailer park and went up to these guys. Lots of tats, cigarettes. They were angry with us and told us that we were in their gang zone. We mentioned what we were doing and they lightened up. Intense stuff. One group had a shotgun pulled on them. I love Yuma!

Selective poverty is also clear. Nice cars, nice phones, but living in a tiny powerless trailer. Sad.

Lots of homes have solar cells. Makes sense. It's so bright... I'ma need to find me some shades.

For one of our investigators, we're teaching him to read. That officially starts tomorrow. Never taught anyone to read before...especially in a language I barely speak.

I should clarify a bit. I understand about 25% of what people say but since they mumble and talk so quick I can barely get that. I can usually speak relatively well for being so 'young.'

That's all I have time for, expect some sweet pictures of a dust tornado thing, rain storms, a gross spider, desert landscape, and more.

Thanks Tori, Natalia, and Doug for letters and brownies! Quick note on Dear Elders: since I'm in Yuma, I get Dear Elders once every 3-4 weeks. We're 3.5 hours from the mission home which is where they go.

 What causes time to slow near a blackhole? Can someone look up the etymology of Apostle and Apostasy and tell me why the words are so similar?

"It's so hot up in dis club that I ain't got no shoes on"

With love,
Elder Johnson